Not News

I turned the radio on yesterday just in time to hear breaking news. A former politician had just announced that he was not running for president.

I'm sorry. I didn't know that this was a requirement. Okay, just so you know, here is my official announcement.

Let the word go forth, from this place and time, to all American voters and to the people of all nations, that I am not running for president. Please do not include my name on your ballots. If you were considering a write-in campaign, thank you, but please restrain yourself. If nominated, I will not run. If elected, I will not serve. Probably. I guess it depends on the salary and health plan.

To be clear, I am not running for any public executive office. This includes all offices at the national, state, and local levels.

Furthermore, legislative offices are right out. Nix also on judicial positions. I would rather not hold a cabinet post in state government. Do not vote for me as clerk of courts, receiver general, or sheriff.

This has been an official announcement. Thank you, and God bless.

Raise Your Glass Tonight

Join the National Toast to remember Michael Jackson.

Silence

The golden age of radio ended 45 years ago today with the final episodes of Suspense and Yours Truly, Johnny Dollar. A lot of people still remember Suspense, which was an excellent program, but I think Johnny Dollar is mostly forgotten. That's a shame. Dollar, especially as played by Bob Baily, was one cool character. Who else could keep you on the edge of your seat just by reading his "action-packed expense account?"

Hawkeye

It's been known for some time that migratory birds use the earth's magnetic field to help them stay on course. Now scientists tell us that some birds can perceive magnetic fields visually. Amazing.

Wisdom

Desmond Tutu says this in For The Bible Tells Me So: “The Bible is the word of God through the word of human beings, speaking in the idiom of their time. And the richness of the Bible comes from the fact that we don't take it as literally so that it was dictated by God.” I really hope this movie comes to my town soon.

All Too Easy

Tip your hat to the Bills. They played with spirit. They were valiant. But they were hopelessly outmatched. The Patriots just slapped them around. By the third quarter their offence was ineffective and their defense was exhausted. I almost felt bad for them. Oh well. Another victory. Three down, sixteen to go.

Autumnal Equinox

My favorite time of the year now commences. It is Autumn in New England, and I am glad.

Finding My Religion

Here's ten beer deities to choose from. I'm partial to Mbaba Mwana Waresa, if only because she has a cool name.
Via: Newsvine.

Clams Got Legs!

No, wait that's not right. How about velociraptors had feathers! I guess they'll have to re-do the CGI for all those Jurassic Park movies.

Beer Inspires Wisdom

It must be true -- Paris Hilton has been banned from Oktoberfest.

Watching Birdwatchers

It's official. There are now 47.8 million Americans who are better birdwatchers than I am.

Scoop Brings One Down in Peru

A meteorite hit Peru, giving off fumes that sickened hundreds. By now a team has started work at Wildfire.

601

Shiver Me Timbers and Such

Happy International Talk Like a Pirate Day, ye landlubbers! Raise high the Jolly Roger and all that. Aye, Jim lad.

Move Mountains

I've been told that planting something as small as a mustard seed is the first step in moving a mountain. Here are a few great ways to plant some Fair Trade seeds in your village.

38 -- 14

Familiar numbers. That's was the score of the game when the Pats beat the Jets. That was the one where they got caught using a video camera to do what every other team in the league does with binoculars. That was also the score last night when the Pats dismantled the Chargers. To those of you who said that the Patriots win because they "cheat" -- here's a great big bowl of crow. Bon appétit.

I loved seeing Bruschi, Brady, and the rest of the guys congratulating Belichick at the end of the game. He got the game ball and a contract extension from Mr. Kraft. And what do you want to bet there's a bonus in that contract that works out to about $500,000?

What's the best part? They can only get better. Brady said it. Vince Wilfork said it. Coach always says it. I love it. And it seems that a lot of the Patriots haters just can't stand it. SI's Michael Silver really needs a waaah!-mbulance.

You know the real reason the haters are upset? It's because my team is the New England Patriots, and all of their teams are the Washington Generals.

Scottish Mummies

Bronze Age Scots practiced mummification. Interesting.

I'm Shocked, Shocked . . .

The green-eyed Pats haters have given themselves a case of the vapors on news of signal-stealing in football. It is, of course, something that is simply never done. Phooey. It just took one weasel like Mangini to point out something that was an open secret throughout the League. Oh, that's why the Jets looked like chumps on opening day -- because the Pats shot some video. Right.

Oh me, oh my. Now the three Superbowl victories are tarnished. This is such a serious infraction. Nonsense. Trying to sneak your way around the salary cap, like the Steelers and 49ers have both been caught doing, is serious. The integrity of the game is really at stake when teams try to turn football into moneyball. The Broncos got caught cheating on the salary cap about ten years ago. Does that fact tarnish John Elway's two Superbowl victories? Of course not.

Yes, the Patriots broke the rules, and yes, it is serious. Is it as serious as cheating on the salary cap, condoning steroid abuse, or encouraging players to injure opposing players, all of which have happened in the NFL? Hell no. This should be dealt with and then we should move on. Perspective. Deal with it.
UPDATE: Shocked, I say!

In Dutch

Business took me back to Amish country for the third time this year. Once again, there was not a single horse & buggy in view. I did see an Amish guy driving a horse and cart, but that doesn't count. I figure he didn't get the email.

That's right. The Amish have email. They use it to plot against me.

Apples and Honey

Happy New Year to all my Jewish friends.

What a Finish!

When Dixon ran out of ethanol on the last lap I fell out of my chair. Unbelievable! Congratulations Dario! I know it's a cliche, but it's a shame that there can't be two winners. They're both such wonderful drivers and such nice guys. What an exciting race and what an exciting season. I can't wait until next year. The IRL keeps getting better and better.

Message Delivered

I think My Beloved Patriots sent a message to the rest of the NFL today. The rest of you should consider this a rebuilding year.

It's going to be a good season.

Fair Trade World

More and more we hear about people working to get their city or town to commit to Fair Trade. Fair Trade towns are one thing, but how about Fair Trade nations? That's huge.

You never know where Fair Trade will pop up next.

Celebrate Reading

Today is International Literacy Day!

Live Long and Prosper

Happy birthday Star Trek. 41 years on the final frontier.

Madeleine L'Engle

Madeleine L'Engle died Thursday. Meg and Charles Wallace will live forever.

The Fair Trade Meme

Here's a terrific list of ten ways you can introduce people to Fair Trade. I'll add one more -- volunteer at your local Ten Thousand Villages. Part of the job is to educate people about Fair Trade. It's a great feeling when you see someone realize that they can make a real difference in the world just by shopping conscientiously.

Mean Kitty Song

Love this:

Via: Davezilla

Yes, Please

The inventor of deep-fried Coke had done it again; deep-fried cookie dough! There should be some special category of Nobel prize for this guy.

Anger Management

It seems to me that Dario Franchitti is a very classy guy. His bosses? Not so much.

Dry White Toast

I'm eating like Elwood Blues today, which is pretty good news. This morning's single piece of toast is the first thing I've eaten since Saturday. Today I feel pretty poor. Yesterday was terrible.

IRL 2008

The Indy Racing League announced some technical changes for next year. The real car of the future will have paddle shifters and modified power steering for road/street courses. About time for both, I say.

They also teased us by saying that a future announcement would be big news about a new venue. I'm betting that it is going to be a road course at Indy.

Say It Ain't So Rodney!

Rodney Harrison has been suspended for four games. He has admitted to using a banned substance and to receiving human growth hormone. He says that he did not take steroids and did not take the substance to gain a competitive edge but to speed healing after an injury. Rodney has stated that he understands that he is a role model and apologized to all those he let down. He made it clear that this was something that he was solely responsible for and his teammates knew nothing of it. As part of his statement he said: "I apologize to the entire New England Patriots organization and the fans who have supported me so faithfully over the past five seasons here, through Super Bowls, injury, through ups and downs. They have supported me. I definitely, definitely appreciate them."

The First Moon Shot

Man first travelled to the moon 105 years ago today -- at the movies. A Trip to the Moon was the first science fiction film, and it's still a good show. Finest kind.