In fourteen hundred and ninety two, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. Back in those days everybody thought the world was flat, so Columbus proved it wasn't by sailing around the world to America. Nobody knew America was there, so Columbus discovered it. He met the Indians, who must have thought they were in India or something, but he told them no, this is America, which they must have been glad to learn. Then he went back to Europe and told everyone about America, and some people said hey, we should move there and invent democracy, so that's what they did.
Special thanks to Washington Irving for filling in some of the historical detail.
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